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The Jolly Chair​-​Men

from A Life Spent Staring At Chairs by Paul Carbuncle

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The Jolly Chair-Men, or, An Excellent New Song in praise of their Employment, which is to be preferr’d before Coaches,
for the ease of those that cannot bare Jumbling [c.1750]

lyrics

Come listen well to a jocular song
Which does to an honest stout chair-man belong
Who plies at St James’s and near to Whitehall
Where gallants for chair-men do commonly call,
Where gallants for chair-men do commonly call.

When ladies of pleasure would visit a friend
Why then for a chair-man they hastily send
Who does the young miss to her gallant convey
Where they in their wanton embraces may play,
Where they in their wanton embraces may play.

Whenever she lights on a booty, oh then
She is not ungrateful to honest chair-men
But throws them a shilling for waiting a while
Of which she has earned by her labour and toil,
Of which she has earned by her labour and toil.

The gallant whose pockets are lined with gold
He will all the pleasures of nature behold.
The chair-men are sent for to hoist him away
From jilting to tennis-court, park, or the play,
From jilting to tennis-court, park, or the play.

Like slaves through the street we run trudging together
With this huffing spark in our cabin of leather.
While thus he does revel in pleasure, perhap
He loses his money but meets with a clap,
He loses his money but meets with a clap.

When lady to lady their visits do pay
We chair-men have business enough for the day.
Surrounded with footmen, some less and some more,
We carry his Honour to visit his whore,
We carry his Honour to visit his whore.

With many a fat-gut and damned heavy load
Like poor beasts of burden we travel the road.
Away we trudge with him, full many a score,
His carcass weighs much but his sins they weigh more,
His carcass weighs much but his sins they weigh more.

To the court and the play-house we carry our fare,
Cracked, sound and unsound, and all sorts of ware,
We carry the lazy, proud, gout, and the pox,
And live by the carrying of Jack in a Box,
And live by the carrying of Jack in a Box.

credits

from A Life Spent Staring At Chairs, released April 9, 2018
Tune by Paul Carbuncle. Lyrics traditional.

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Paul Carbuncle Nottingham, UK

You can take the lad out of Pluckley but he'll still sing about hops.

Profile photo by Hugh Miller.

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